End Overwhelm .net

Finding Peace in Sadness – one story

Steven Baerg — Sat, 08 Feb 2025 01:00:34 +0000

I’ve always found that examples help me learn, and if you’re struggling with being overwhelmed by emotions—especially sadness—to the point where it’s hard to function, I hope this real-time reflection on my own experience can offer some helpful ideas.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from the nursing home where my 80-year-old mother resides. She has been steadily losing weight and now weighs less than 90 pounds. Lately, she’s refused to be weighed, making it difficult to track whether the decline is continuing. More concerning, though, is that she has also begun refusing meals.

What shocked me most, however, was the report from the staff. When they tried to encourage her to eat or reposition her to prevent pressure sores, she responded with something like, “I know. I’m ready to go.”

She hasn’t spoken to me like that in a long time. Given her ongoing weight loss, I’ve been visiting more frequently, bringing her food and feeding her myself, hoping to help her regain some weight. But hearing that she is now expressing a readiness to pass felt rather shocking.

I told the staff member that I had anticipated this. I wasn’t devastated or overwhelmed with grief. My parents provided for my basic needs growing up, but beginning in my early teens, my mother and I had almost continuous conflicts. I tried hard to gain her approval, but nothing ever seemed to be quite good enough. The version of me she wanted wasn’t one I was built to be.

Because of that, I never really depended on my parents for deep emotional support. I learned to take care of that on my own—with God or with others. Independence was a lesson they taught me well, and I embraced it fully. So, when I thought about losing my mother, I never imagined I would feel a deep sense of loss. Sadness, of course—but not something that would hit too hard.
Yet, when the kind staff brought up the possibility palliative care, it hit me in a way I wasn’t expecting. I knew this was coming, but I didn’t expect it so soon. The realization felt like a gut punch. As I have sorted through my emotions, I began to recognize something I had never fully appreciated before:

She has always been there.

My mother is a creature of habit. She’s only lived in two homes for as long as I’ve known her. Before that, there were a couple of places from my early childhood that I don’t remember, but for decades, she remained in the same spaces. And now, I feel as though I am losing something—a connection to my past, an anchor to the world I came from.

Strangely, it reminds me a bit of when my brother passed away over two decades ago before he even turned 30. He was my only sibling, and not long after, my parents divorced. Even though both of them were still alive, I remember feeling like an orphan. My family structure had blown apart, and for a long time, I felt very alone. Over time, that changed—I rebuilt my relationships with both my parents, now separately, went through my own marriage, divorce, and remarriage, and eventually found myself feeling blessed by the family I now have.

But as my mother’s passing seemed to suddenly rush closer, I felt an odd sense of disconnection I didn’t expect.

Despite our disagreements, I realize now that we have made peace in ways I couldn’t have imagined when I was younger. I now see past much of her criticism to some of her deeper intentions. And now no longer desperately needing her approval I even find humor in them. Her rigid nature and stubbornness haven’t faded, and with the onset of dementia, reasoning with her has become even more futile.

Still, in reflecting on our relationship, certain moments stand out.

Years ago, when she was still driving, she would make the trip into Fresno to have lunch with me. By then, we had largely reconciled, though it had taken firm boundaries on my part—like telling her that if she continued criticizing me for drinking Coke, I’d simply hang up. She adjusted, for the most part. And by then, when she did slip back into trying to dictate my life, I would just look at her, and we’d both laugh.

Those lunches were good times—really good times. And now, the woman who once met me for those meals is fading, leaving behind a shell of who she used to be.

For so many years, I wrestled with pain, frustration, and resentment over never quite measuring up in her eyes. But somewhere along the way, I changed. I grew. And now, it hardly matters at all. I like who I am and who I am becoming. I can look in the mirror and respect the man I see.

And I can recognize something I hadn’t before:
My mother—this woman who brought me into life and spent so many years trying to mold me into someone I wasn’t—was also the one who, in her own way, helped me become the man God always intended me to be.

It was her observation, not mine, that led to the discovery of my vision problems when I was a child—issues that had prevented me from learning basic things like numbers and the alphabet. It was her persistence that took me to an eye doctor week after week for months, where I learned exercises that enabled me to finally focus and be able to actually see. Without that, I am convinced my life would have been radically different. In fact I think it's likely I could have ended up in prison or maybe even dead. Instead I've been blessed with a moderately successful professional career based on attaining a master's degree. A far better life than it likely would have been.

Socially, I struggled. I was an outcast, angry and frustrated. But at least I could succeed academically. And I believe that success gave me the ability to make more positive choices than negative ones. If I had failed in that too, I don't think there would have been much left but anger at the world and rebellion.

Oddly enough, one of the biggest sources of conflict between us became the most foundational influence in my life—God.

She has a very different view of God than I do. As an adult, I can appreciate that with intellectual curiosity, but when I was younger, it felt like just another impossible standard I couldn’t meet. Yet, it was her persistence in pointing me toward God, the Bible, and church that ultimately led me to develop the faith that has become the foundation of my identity.

She still thinks I’m doing it wrong. But I don’t mind anymore. I know how God sees me, and that is enough.

But who set me on this path in the first place?

My mother.

In some strange, unexpected way, all the arguments, frustrations, and pain led me to become someone I genuinely like. And now, I see what I never could before—God always knew what He was doing. Even when I prayed desperately for Him to help me get along with her and it felt like a complete failure, He was at work.

At one point, I even rejected everything related to God, but even that journey led me to a deeper, more personal understanding of Him—separate from, yet started by, the mother who first introduced me to Him.

If this story seems crazy, it kind of is. But isn’t that the kind of crazy, amazing, and unexpected work that God does?

Who else but an all-knowing, infinitely wise, and wildly unconventional God would take a pampered son and send him as a slave into a foreign kingdom, only to raise him from the prison to the palace, not just to save his own family, an entire nation, but the human linage of Christ himself? (Genesis 37 - 47)

And is that really any more shocking than a Creator leaving His rightful place of honor to be born in a cattle stall, live among a broken world, and sacrifice Himself for the very people who murdered Him?

Looking at my life now, it’s clear—God has worked all things together for good! (Romans 8:28)

The woman who gave me life, and yet unknowing tried to crush the person I actually was, ultimately helped me become who God is designing me to be.

I am in awe. I am humbled. And I am so very grateful.

So as I face the inevitable, my gratitude outweighs my sadness. I am losing an external anchor to the world I was born into, but my internal foundation has never been stronger.

And with that, I find peace—knowing that God truly does work all things together for good!

Even now, as I prepare to visit my mother, knowing my time with her is limited, I can concentrate and focus enough to write these words with clarity. I am sad, but I am at peace.

When Helping Goes Bad: From good intentions to overwhelmed toxicity

Steven Baerg — Thu, 06 Feb 2025 04:03:01 +0000

As Christians, we are called to follow Christ’s incredible example of service to others. Many believers—especially those in helping professions such as nursing, mental health, and church—take this mandate very seriously. In many ways, this is a beautiful thing. Our acts of service reflect Christ’s love to the world, making it a better place and giving people more reasons to trust God for their eternity.

However, it is all too common for those with the best intentions to become overwhelmed in their efforts to improve the lives of others.

When Helping Becomes Harmful

One major reason for this struggle is the frequent lack of obvious results. We pour our hearts and souls into helping others, desiring to see them thrive, grow, and strengthen their faith. Yet, instead of improvement, we often encounter stagnation or even regression. Rather than feeling encouraged, we may start to question ourselves: Am I trying hard enough? Am I doing it right? What am I missing? We convince ourselves that if others could just see how amazing God is and how their lives could be better, they would make different choices. Over time, we begin to shoulder an unbearable burden—the belief that it is our fault when others fail to grow.

This mindset can drive us to try harder, pouring more of our time, energy, and emotions into fixing things. Sometimes, it even leads to attempts at controlling others’ choices—all in the name of helping them. But this desperation and guilt quickly snowball into feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, and complete emotional exhaustion. It hurts. It sucks the joy out of our faith and our relationships.

The Root of the Problem: Taking Too Much Responsibility

A surprising but common reason many of us fall into this cycle is that we take on too much responsibility—more than God ever intended for us. While personal responsibility is absolutely essential to growth and maturity, taking excessive responsibility for others is where helping turns toxic. When we interpret Christ’s command to love others as a duty to ensure their well-being—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—we cross an invisible line from being helpful to being dysfunctional.

Why does this happen? For many, the root goes back to childhood. People with a strong sense of conscience and a deep desire to do what is right often develop these traits in response to family dynamics that were, in reality, unhealthy. One common scenario is when a parent or caregiver leans on a child for emotional support that should come from another adult—often a spouse.

For example, a mother in an unfulfilling marriage may turn to her son for validation, encouragement, and comfort. The son, wanting to help, listens attentively and tries to make her feel better. Over time, he internalizes a damaging belief: I am responsible for making others okay. He learns that his worth is tied to fixing others’ emotional distress, an impossible task that sets him up for a lifetime of misplaced guilt and burnout.

This belief is in direct conflict with God’s design. God created each of us in His image, fully responsible for our own actions, choices, and well-being. While seeking support from others is healthy, ultimately, we alone are responsible for using the resources and guidance God provides to manage our own lives. If we are not okay, it is not because someone else failed us. Yet, those who grow up with the burden of their caregiver’s well-being often struggle to recognize this truth.

The Consequences of a Flawed Belief System

When we believe we are responsible for others’ well-being, we inevitably encounter people who agree with us—those who willingly hand over their personal responsibility and expect us to make them happy. These individuals avoid the hard work of making wise choices and instead wait for someone else to fix their lives.

This dynamic creates a cycle of dysfunction. The helper becomes exhausted, overextended, and guilt-ridden, while the person being helped remains emotionally and spiritually immature. They never develop the skills necessary to reflect God’s character or take responsibility for their own choices. Ultimately, both parties suffer.

Breaking Free: Christ’s Example

Recognizing this distorted sense of responsibility is the first step toward freedom from misplaced guilt and overwhelm. Christ Himself provides the perfect example of healthy helping with clear boundaries.

Consider His interaction with the rich young ruler in Mark 10:17-23:

17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’”
20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”
21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.
23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!”

From this passage, we learn key principles about healthy helping:

Jesus took time to engage with the young man, demonstrating love, care, and kindness.
He pointed him to God’s Word, rather than offering a personal guarantee of success or happiness.
He spoke the truth directly and without compromise, even though He knew it would not necessarily make the young man feel better.
He let the man walk away. Jesus did not chase him down or try to force him into a better decision.

Throughout Scripture, Christ consistently showed love and care while leaving people free to make their own choices. He did not try to control them or take responsibility for their decisions. This is the model we are called to follow.

Letting Go of an Impossible Burden

Understanding that we are not responsible for others' choices can bring profound relief. We are called to love, serve, and share truth—but we are not tasked with ensuring others respond in the right way. Their well-being is not our burden to carry.

This realization does not mean we stop caring or helping. Rather, it means we help from a place of health, wisdom, and boundaries. We treat others with kindness and respect, share truth in love, and allow them the God-given dignity of making their own decisions—even if they choose a path that leads to suffering.

Recognizing this truth can free us from an impossible burden—one we were never meant to carry. When we let go of misplaced guilt, we can serve God and others with joy, knowing that our role is simply to reflect His love while leaving the results in His hands.

Small Steps to Big Confidence: Overcoming the Helplessness of Overwhelm with God’s Guidance

Steven Baerg — Mon, 03 Feb 2025 02:00:56 +0000

Do you ever feel like the mountain of tasks ahead is just too tall to climb? If you're a Christian who feels overwhelmed and even a bit helpless amid life’s demands, know that you're not alone. Helplessness often fuels overwhelm—if we didn’t feel helpless, no matter how many tasks rolled up on our plate, we wouldn’t feel so burdened, overwhelmed. Today, let’s explore how narrowing your focus to small, doable steps and organizing your priorities by importance can reduce that feeling of helplessness and build lasting confidence.

Why Small Steps Make a Big Difference

When life feels chaotic, our instinct may be to tackle everything at once. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to do it all at once. Instead of fixating on the entire mountain, break your tasks into small, manageable steps. When you focus on one simple action—ignoring the overwhelming “what’s next and next and...”—you’re making a giant leap toward overcoming helplessness.

Consider pursuing a graduate degree, for example. It's filled with challenges, assignments, deadlines, and new experiences. It would be paralyzing to think about the entire journey at once. But if you narrow your focus to just "finishing the first three pages of the application," that one small, doable task becomes a critical stepping stone. When our brains aren’t overloaded by trying to solve multiple problems simultaneously, we can more effectively use the calm reasoning wisdom God designed our brains to be capable of.

By letting God help you identify the most important priorities and taking one step at a time, it’s like focusing on just the next step up a mountain—without worrying about the hundreds of steps that follow to the glorious summit. When you concentrate on that one step, the feeling of helplessness begins to fade, replaced by the confidence of knowing, "I can do this. I CAN take this next step!"

Organizing by Importance: Letting God Guide Your Priorities

Once you’ve broken your tasks into smaller steps, the next move is to organize them by importance. Here’s a simple approach:

Make a List:Write down everything on your mind—daily chores, work tasks, church responsibilities, and personal goals.
Ask for Guidance and Prioritize: Begin with a prayer. Ask God for wisdom to discern what truly matters right now. First use Biblical examples for guidance and then listen for the gentle nudges of the Holy Spirit. Which tasks align most closely with God's values? Which will matter in a year, a thousand years? Which are most urgent?
Set Boundaries: Recognize your limits. Sometimes the most loving act you can perform is to say “no” when your plate is full. Even Christ withdrew from the crowds to reconnect with His Father, ensuring He had the strength and clarity to do what was right—even when others didn’t understand His choices.

Trusting in God to guide your priorities helps you determine what needs immediate attention and what can either wait or be set aside entirely. It’s an act of faith, believing that He is orchestrating your life—even when things seem out of control.

A Practical Approach to Tackle Your Day

Imagine your day as a series of small, actionable steps. Here’s a simple strategy to get started:

Morning Reflection:Begin your day with a quiet moment—pray or read a verse that speaks to your heart. Let that peaceful moment connect you to the reality of God's trustworthy strength and wisdom for the day.
Task Breakdown:Instead of one endless to-do list, identify three main priorities for the day.
Celebrate Small Wins:Focus on one step at a time. For instance, if you need to prepare a meal for your family, start by choosing a recipe rather than planning every detail at once.
Review and Adjust: At the end of the day, review your successes. — take a moment to celebrate them no matter how small they may seem. Use them as evidence that you can learn and improve and let that proof grow your confidence. Review your failures, yes you will have them, but see them for what they truly are, opportunities to learn to do better and improve today tomorrow and for eternity. Adjust your plan for the next day based on what you learned.

By concentrating on one step at a time and prioritizing what truly matters, you'll gradually replace helplessness with concrete evidence of progress and build the confidence to tackle the next challenge.

Trusting in God’s Plan

Even when your to-do list seems endless, remember that God is with you every step of the way. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us to present our requests to God with thanksgiving instead of giving in to anxiety. By focusing on small, manageable tasks, you align your actions with His greater plan for your life.

When overwhelm strikes, lean on your faith and trust the capabilities God designed into you . Whether through prayer, a conversation with a trusted friend, or meditating on a guiding scripture, let God’s presence remind you that you’re never alone in your struggles.

In Conclusion

Reducing the helplessness of overwhelm isn’t about magically eliminating all your tasks—it’s about recognizing and growing the capabilities that God has already built into you. By breaking your challenges into small, manageable steps and organizing them by importance, you transform daily chaos into a series of accomplishments that build toward a higher purpose.

I hope these insights help you find more peace and clarity in your daily life. Even the greatest accomplishments are built in small steps so every little step actually counts, and with God guiding you, you can face any challenge that comes your way. Please share your thoughts or your own strategies in the comments below—let’s join each other on this journey to a more focused, meaningful, and less overwhelming life!

People stress you out? When your brain sees a threat not a person.

Steven Baerg — Sun, 26 Jan 2025 18:53:25 +0000

If you're a caring, conscientious individual—whether a parent, a worker, or a leader in your community—you probably take your responsibilities seriously. You genuinely want to support others and follow Christ’s example in how you live and serve. Yet, despite your good intentions, you may find yourself overwhelmed, drained of energy, and even battling anxiety.

How do such noble intentions go so wrong?

The answer lies in how our brains interpret people and situations. Sometimes, instead of seeing others as friends, brothers, or sisters in Christ, our minds begin to see them as sources of stress—or even threats. This shift in perception can distort our good-hearted intentions and leave us feeling drained and frustrated.

Here are three common culprits that can twist your efforts into overwhelming burdens and how you can overcome them:

1. Worrying About Other People's Opinions

When we focus too much on what others think of us, we fall into the trap of second-guessing and self-criticism. Instead of asking people directly what they need or how they feel, we often imagine their opinions. Unfortunately, our imagination is frequently informed by our own insecurities. This creates a never-ending cycle of worrying about how others perceive us and trying to meet impossible, imagined standards.

For example, you may find yourself thinking:

"If I say that, they’ll think I’m foolish."
"If I give them a suggestion, they'll think I'm arrogant."
"What if they think I don’t care enough?"

This mental spiral places us in an unwinnable situation. People are diverse, and their perspectives vary widely. Even if you do everything "right," some will still misunderstand or criticize you. The truth is, no one can please everyone.

The Hard Truth:
Even the best, most selfless individuals in history faced criticism. Christ, who was perfect in love and action, was misunderstood, falsely accused, and even crucified. If people could hate Him, they can—and will—criticize us too.

What You Can Do:

Accept criticism as inevitable. It’s not your job to make everyone happy; it’s your job to live with integrity and honor God.
Focus on pleasing God, not people. His opinion matters most, and He values authenticity over perfection.
Reframe criticism. If people with questionable motives or selfish hearts disapprove of you, it’s often a sign you’re on the right path.

Stop trying to control others’ perceptions of you. Focus instead on acting with love, honor, sincerity, and integrity. When your mind shifts from "What do they think of me?" to "What would be the most useful and right thing I can do?" the weight of others’ opinions can fade. Remember God looks at your heart (1 Samuel 16:7) He NEVER surveys for others opinions of you.

2. Fear of Failing Your Own Expectations

High standards can be a gift, pushing us toward growth and excellence. But when those standards become a constant reminder of how far we fall short, they can turn into a source of discouragement and anxiety.

Many of us set expectations for ourselves that are nearly impossible to meet. We expect to be the perfect parent, the ideal friend, the most reliable worker, or the most dedicated Christian. When we inevitably fall short, we feel like failures—even when we’ve given our best effort.

A New Perspective on Standards:

Progress, not perfection.Instead of measuring how far you are from your ideal, review how far you’ve come from the start. Gritty lasting motivation grows from measuring your progress not the distance you have yet to go Progress is evidence of growth, and growth is the only path to any goal that matters.
Recognize your limitations. No one operates at 100% all the time. Your best effort on a good day will be different than your best effort on a day when just getting up seems impossible—and that’s okay.
Redefine success. Success isn’t about achieving perfection but about making an honest effort to do what you can with the resources and energy you have in the moment. Success = your best effort today.

Practical Tip:
Try keeping a journal where you record your wins and progress, Yes, even the very small wins. For example, “Despite feeling rushed,I took time to do a check in call to Jane who missed church for the last two weeks.” Over time, you’ll see evidence of growth, which will inspire confidence and reduce feelings of failure and helplessness.

3. Fear of Letting God Down

As Christians, we rightly prioritize God’s opinion above all others. However, this priority can sometimes be distorted by a misunderstanding of God’s character.

Some of us carry a mental image of God as harsh, judgmental, and constantly disappointed when we fall short of perfection. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

The Truth About God’s Love:

God loves us as we are.Romans 5:8 reminds us, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." He didn’t wait for us to become "good enough" before extending His grace.
God understands our flaws.He knows we’re imperfect and broken, that through no choice of our own we were born with satan's selfish fear based nature. Rather than condemning us, He offers to fix us – give us a new heart and spirit and remove our birth nature (Ezekiel 36:26)
God values your effort. Like a loving parent who treasures a child’s scribbled crayon drawing for it's intent not artistic talent, God takes joy in our sincere attempts to follow Him and help others—even when those efforts fall flat.

How to Reframe This Fear:

Trust that God’s opinion of you is rooted in love, not performance. He values us not just for what we are but also for what we can become through His transforming power.
Remember that God doesn’t expect perfection—He desires a willing and humble heart.
Focus on allowing God to work through you, rather than trying to "earn" His approval. Join David in Psalms 51:10 and daily pray that God create in you a clean heart and renew a right spirit within you – a prayer He always answers with a “Yes”.

The Key to Reducing Overwhelm

When helping others feels overwhelming, the solution is often to simplify your focus. Instead of worrying about what others think, whether you’re meeting your own standards, or whether God is pleased, ask yourself:

What does this person truly need, and how can I help within my ability?

When you shift your focus to the needs of others, you free yourself from the weight of self-doubt and fear. Acting with integrity, compassion, and a clear purpose reduces stress and brings peace.

Practical Steps to Apply This Mindset:

Start with prayer.Ask God for wisdom and guidance in how to serve others effectively.
Listen actively.Take the time to understand what the other person truly needs, rather than assuming or overthinking.
Let go of perfectionism.Trust that your genuine effort is enough, even if the results sometimes suck. Remember many responded negatively even to Christ's perfect efforts.
Review regularly. At the end of each day, thank God for the opportunities you had to help others and focus on what you did well. Mark each of your good choices for the day as a win regardless of the immediate results.

By simplifying your focus, you honor God, reduce stress, and create space to serve others with joy. Remember, your value doesn’t come from what others think or how perfectly you perform—it comes from who you are in Christ and the love you bring to the world.

I am always curious to learn from others. What have you found that works for you when it seems others are a source of stress and overwhelm?

Overwhelmed? The Surprising Reason Avoidance Might Be to Blame!

Steven Baerg — Tue, 18 Jun 2024 02:21:49 +0000

Do you have a difficult, confusing, or unpleasant task you keep putting off? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, there’s a good chance your avoidance is feeding that overwhelm monster, making it grow bigger and scarier.

Let me share a recent experience to illustrate.

I needed to set up a text messaging service to send reminders to my clients. I had never used this particular service before, and the process was anything but straightforward. The electronic forms had limited options, and the instructions left out crucial details about what not to do. I was confused and tried several times making only minimal progress, but ultimately ending in failure. It felt like an endless, unsolvable problem.

After my initial failed efforts, I started avoiding the task altogether. It felt intimidating, difficult, and almost hopeless. By putting it off, I created a looming cloud in my mind—a persistent, nagging reminder that I had unresolved issues to tackle. Even when I focused on other tasks, the thought of that unresolved challenge made everything feel harder. No matter what else I achieved, I still had this big, confusing monster waiting for me.

To make matters worse, I kept receiving error messages from the service with no clear instructions on how to fix the problem. Finally, after a couple of days of avoidance, I received an email with specific guidance about what was wrong. At that point, I realized I had to stop procrastinating. If I didn’t, I would be stuck with a partially functioning website indefinitely.

Taking the Leap

I decided to face the problem head-on and made it the first thing I worked on that day. Here’s what happened:

Clarity Through Focus: By focusing exclusively on addressing each error message individually and responding thoughtfully, the task started to feel less confusing. Each step forward made the process clearer.
A Surprising Sense of Competence: Although it was time-consuming and required significant effort, I felt an unexpected sense of competence and confidence. I didn’t know if my response would completely fix the problem, but I felt proud of the well-supported, thorough work I had done.

The Relief of Facing the Monster

The final result was something I hadn’t anticipated. Even though the problem wasn’t fixed yet, I felt a big sense of relief. Facing the issue head-on proved to me that it was beatable, fixable. What once felt like a giant, fuzzy, gray monster had transformed into a manageable task with a clearer path forward. This shift in perspective was freeing, empowering.
I no longer felt overwhelmed or helpless. My willingness to engage with the problem gave me confidence that, with continued effort, I could solve it.

Avoidance Feeds Overwhelm

Avoiding confusing, difficult, or uncertain tasks is like feeding a gremlin. The more you put it off, the more it grows. The bigger it grows, the scarier it feels. The scarier it feels, the more you avoid it—and the cycle continues. Even if you achieve other goals, that unresolved task remains a dark cloud on your future horizon, distracting your energy and focus. It’s as if there is an impending unbeatable sense of doom ahead which transforms one avoided task into a general sense of overwhelm just spreading through your life like a growing fog.

The Simple Solution

The solution is straightforward: tackle the big, scary, vague, hard-to-understand monster first. Once you’ve addressed it, the rest of your day can proceed without the looming sense of doom hanging over you. Breaking this cycle of avoidance not only reduces overwhelm but also builds confidence and clarity, proving to yourself that you can handle tough challenges.

Because God designed us in His image—capable of learning, adapting, and overcoming challenges, doesn’t it make sense that tackling problems creates such results? When we avoid the discomfort of difficult or confusing tasks, we risk accepting the misleading feeling that we are fragile, incapable, and destined for failure. However, God has equipped us with strength and purpose for eternity, while it is Satan who sows seeds of doubt and discouragement.

I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 GW

So, the next time you face a daunting task, remember: tackling it head-on can be the key to overcoming your overwhelm and taking a small step closer to fulfilling your divine destiny.